dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
