Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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