Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
