Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
