If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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