dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
