yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
