In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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