I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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