I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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