So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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