I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I believe in your delicious
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