I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
