had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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