How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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