wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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