she was so not down for the gang bang
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
