im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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