It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize