If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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