Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he fucked my hip out of place.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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