Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Four minutes until I can fart!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
