This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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