Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
