I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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