what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
