i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
her facebook's as public as her vagina
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
