Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
