"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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