My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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