"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
