Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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