Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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