oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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