Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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