They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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