I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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