This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
