Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
