Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
