We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?