You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.