hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
