please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My vagina just recognized that song.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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