Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
