She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
