I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
