Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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