I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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