you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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