Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is Oprah even human
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
