Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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