I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
