White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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