Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
