According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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