Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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