i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My pussy is not your playground.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
