i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
