Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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