he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
